I’ve met a few celebrities in my lifetime.
Woody Allen made my knees weak. Molly Ringwald? Not so much. So I was taken aback at how much I was taken aback by a celebrity sighting at the Market District Giant Eagle in Robinson. Mind you, I spend way too much time there. And I’ve never seen a celeb. Until now.
I had to go shopping on a Saturday because it was literally my first day off of work in over a month. Mom and I worked our way through the store trying to remain pleasant despite the fact that we both hate crowds.
But mom and I were not phased by the crowds, the noise, or even the jazz ensemble performing Miles Davis’ tunes in the fish section. We were unstoppable.
As we were nearing the end of our shopping journey, I happened to notice these incredible pumpkins on display. I decided that once I helped mom get through the line with her groceries I would go buy us our Halloween pumpkins while she sat and waited. The pumpkins were too gorgeous to pass up and I knew if I waited they might not be there the next day.
So I went and binged-shopped pumpkins. I bought far too many for a house with only two residents. But you know what? I love Halloween and for some reason the Market District turns me into Spendy McGee.
So guess who was there when I went back for the pumpkins, standing in line buying Gatorade: Andrew McCutchen! Let me rephrase that, Andrew McCutchen from the Pittsburgh Pirates! Let me rephrase it one more time, Andrew McCutchen who had the second best batting average in the National League! That Andrew “Cutch” McCutchen.
Based on past experience with celebs, I know that you have to be really chill when you approach them. So I was casually looking at him waiting to make my move. The kid who was ringing up my pumpkins kept saying, “It’s him isn’t it? It’s him, right?”
In fact, because the cashier was so enthralled with Cutch, at one point he asked me how much the pumpkins were because they were without a price tag. I told him that I wasn’t sure (which was a slight lie) and he literally only charged me $2 per pumpkin—which was awesome because I picked out the giant, odd-colored, odd-shaped pumpkins that usually start at $12. (Oops. Looks, like I did know the price after all.)
As I was putting my discounted pumpkins into the shopping cart, my mother came over and asked if I knew that Cutch was standing behind me. That was my cue. I turned around and grabbed his arm and said, “You are the greatest. I loved watching you all season. You did a great job. The end.”
He seemed really freaked out, but his girlfriend thanked me.
Now it was mom’s turn to say something, and this was what she said: “Hey! The rest of your team really stinks, but not you! You are awesome!”
Ah, gentle, tactful mom. The great thing is, what she said cracked him up and he gave her a big smile and said, “thanks.” He really seemed to mean it.
Later as I was packing the groceries and pumpkins into the trunk of my car, Cutch and his girlfriend saw mom and waved. I’m not saying that we’re friends with him now, but maybe he’ll join us for some crepes in the cafe next weekend. And by “join us”, I naturally mean that mom and I will stalk him. I’ve named the giant pumpkin Andrew. Go Bucs.