St. Malachy: The Patron Saint of Great Food (Or If Not, He Should Be)

There are very few categories in this world in which I would claim to be an expert. They include Katharine Hepburn movies, Truman Capote stories, mental illness, and church festivals. If you don’t believe me then check out this!

How many movies did Katharine Hepburn make with Cary Grant? Four. BAM! 

Who was Truman Capote’s favorite relative? His second-cousin Sook! BAM!

How do you cure borderline personality disorder? You don’t! BAM!

What is the most fun church festival in the Pittsburgh region? The St. Malachy Nationality Food Festival in Kennedy Township! BAM!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of Moon and Robinson! This coming weekend (Thursday, Oct. 4 and Saturday, Oct. 6) St. Malachy Church in Kennedy Township is hosting its annual Nationality Food Festival!

The St. Malachy Festival has been a staple in my life since I was a little kid. I remember bugging my dad to take me there to play carnival-style games, which were usually set up in the school’s gym. He and I would go through dollar bill after dollar bill until I eventually won some type of stuffed animal.

Afterwards we usually headed over to the food booths located in the church basement. This is where the festival’s true charm exists.

As you work your way into the basement you will pass about three to four banquet tables filled with nothing but homemade donuts. The smell as you enter is that perfect blend of grease and powdered sugar. It’s impossible to walk past these tables without purchasing a half-dozen donuts to bring home (or to binge eat in the car on the way home).

Once you walk through the double-glass doors leading into the basement you will feel as though you have entered another world. The room is usually filled to capacity with folks scream-talking to one another while the kids run all over the place clutching the cash their parents have given them to buy food.

The food is by far the best part.  A nationality festival means cuisine from all over the world (at least the recipes).  That usually includes Italy, France, Germany, Poland, Mexico and Greece. When I was a kid there was also an Asian booth. Sadly, it hasn’t been there the past few years.

My favorite is the Polish food. I am a sucker for elderly Polish ladies making me homemade pierogies and halluski. Mmm, mmm.

I was raised Italian, so I generally skip that booth. If I want spaghetti then I’ll have it on Sunday with my family. 

There’s always a line at the German booth but it’s well worth the wait (it’s the only booth that sells beer).  I’m not much of a drinker. I endure the 30 minute wait for the most giant, delicious potato pancakes on Earth.

(Author’s note: I realize my menu is carb-heavy, but how does that LMAFO song go again? “I work out!”)

My third must-visit booth is France.  They serve some of the greatest crepes I have ever eaten and I’ve been to France (well, Epcot Center France). They serve these banana-buttered rum crepes that make me drool just typing about them. They also fill some crepes with ice-cream, which I can’t eat due to lactose intolerance, but knock yourself out!

Now dear readers it is all on you. If you want to have a international themed, fun-filled weekend close to home check out the St. Malachy Nationality Food festival. I will be popping in and out throughout the entire weekend so please find me and we can split a pierogie (or 12)!