Weird Things For Sale in Moon

People collect weird stuff.

And when they accrue too much, or they need a little cash, they sell it. Sometimes it’s normal stuff, like camera lenses or a 2001 Dodge Stratus. Other times – it’s a little bit weirder.

 Even Moon has its peculiar tchotchkes for sale.

 We scoured online classifieds for some of the more interesting finds – stuff that almost nobody would think to look for, but almost everybody could imagine owning (if only for a second). Here are some favorites from Ebay and Craigslist:

Bulk Candy Vending Machine ($300)

They’re not just for supermarket entrances – now you can own your very own bulk candy machine. And not just one, but 10. These little blue gizmos look like parking meters filled with Peppermint Patties (candy not included). As the ad suggests, you could start your own business selling assorted gum and cashews to passersby. In this economy, it ain’t a bad idea…

 Spiderman Ready Bed Sleeping Bag ($7)

A “ready bed” is like the Snuggie of sleeping accommodations – it’s a sleeping bag that also inflates. And with its Spiderman imprint, this little air mattress is sure to delight any child in the universe. The downside? It’s used. Parents paranoid about lice and ringworm may get the heebie-jeebies, but the seller claims “EXCELLENT” condition. So some kid’s gonna love it.

 Steelers Chocolate Bars (Not Priced)

This is what Steeler Nation has always needed: Steelers-themed chocolate bars. Now and again, some savvy retailers just go ahead and advertise their wares as classified listings. And why not? Trello Cioccolato hawks these (milk and dark) chocolate bars wrapped in black and gold, plus the singular “Terrible Towel Bar,” whose proceeds benefit Allegheny Valley School. The crème-de-la-crème? The Pittsburgh Penguins Hockey Puck!

 Fire Truck Brochure

It’s difficult to imagine who exactly would covet a Boardman Fire Truck brochure from 1992, but some people will collect anything. To non-aficionados in firefighting literature, this brochure may not seem worth $7.99 (down from $9.99). But this is a Top-Rated Seller, with 99.9% positive feedback, so let’s give the benefit of the doubt.

 Moon Township Patch

Let’s face it: Patches are cool. We should know. Especially patches worn by municipal workers, like police officers and EMT’s. And did you ever get a close-up look? The Moon Township Police patch is absolutely packed with weird symbols: There’s a Persian lamp, an olive branch with a lightning bolt through it, an English lion, a fleur-de-lis, the date 1788, and a little brown cottage. Plus the word “welcome.” For $10, this little piece of fabric is perfect irony for the dedicated hipster.

Moon Antique Map ($24.99)

Old maps aren’t just dusty pieces of paper – they say a lot about how people perceived the world. Take this map of Moon, circa 1877: The hand-painted chart details houses and roads long lost to history. The slanted fonts make one nostalgic for a more elegant time. And the Ohio River is actually illustrated with blue ripples. For antique collectors, this map is truly a work of art, and it’s a steal for the price. 

Brass Button Bears ($10)

There is no toy more universally cute than a small, plush teddy bear. And here they are, nine Brass Button Bears, courtesy Pickford Bears Ltd. You can pick from the one in the rain jacket, the one with the Aussie hat, the one in an apron – or just take ‘em all for $80.

Bernhardt Dining Room ($650)

It’s not just an elegant wooden table. It’s not just six wooden chairs. It’s not even just an elegant buffet table, or a massive china cabinet with glass doors. It’s all of these things. If you have a spare $650 lying around, this is the ultimate deal.

Hand-Built Grandmother Clock ($50)

Nothing says “stately” like a long-case clock – and this refined “grandmother” clock (just slightly smaller than a grandfather) is the kind of accoutrement you’d find in an English study. There are even shelves for your pipe tobacco and leather-bound books. What’s more: The glass face is hand-painted.

 Tuxedo ($100)

When you think about it, most men don’t really wear their tuxedoes that often. And even though this one was tailored in 1995, it’s been worn only a half-dozen times, claims the buyer. It even has some history: The tux made debuts at “Masonic functions.” If you happen to have a waist of 31”, this outfit sure beats rentals.

Marble Bar ($1,400)

Okay, you’ll need a flatbed truck that can comfortably haul 400 lbs. Got one? Okay: Just imagine what an Edwardian, marble-topped bar would look like in your den. This magnificent crescent-shaped liquor cabinet just screams “classy.” Just save some cash to stock it – such craft deserves some serious scotch.